msbld 🌱

The purpose of life is to be alive

I really feel a lot hey.

In these past few months especially, I’ve been feeling so much. Like a baby taking in the world for the first time. Taking in life! The experience of being alive. That’s the purpose of life, isn’t it? To be alive. Aliveness flows into me and through me with a shimmering ferocity and leaves no part of my soul untouched. Somehow, this vessel has somehow become capable of allowing the fullness of life — the highs and lows and wins and failures and everything in between — to move me. If a song on the radio moves me to tears, then let it. If a situation triggers me, then let it. It will all pass through me eventually. Somehow, I have lost most if not all my resistance to such dynamic forces. My fear of being moved in a way that displaces. Really, it is and has always been alchemical—not displacement, but transformation. The firing of the synapses transforms into thought. Metabolic pathways transform into bodily action. And the emotions, of course, the emotions—all transform into a richer, thicker experience of life.

Somehow, I’ve developed an insane amount of trust in my ability to be changed and yet remain constant. Remain constant and present with these ever-shifting tides, to the relationships I have with all parts of this beautiful, ugly, flawed, striving ecosystem I am evolving with. With the relationship I have with the people I love. With the communities I’m a part of. With dance. With the part of me shuts down and gets defensive or wants to hide behind a protective mask. With curiosity, and shame, and guilt. With that inner voice that can be so compassionate sometimes and so cruel other times. With the sunset and sunrise. With the smell of the earth and the way sunlight glitters through tree leaves. With the experience of being a full human!

#life